How do you Deal with Complaining at your House?

I was asked this week by a friend how we deal with complaining at our house.   I thought I'd share it here because this seems to be a universal issue that we deal with.   By "we" I don't just mean the children---we all, by nature, are prone to complain.  

By blogging about this topic, I'm not saying that you will never hear a complaint coming from one of our mouths or that we've mastered it....but we have studied and hit this topic pretty hard as a family from a Biblical perspective and that has really helped. 

While there are a number of Bible passages that fit, my favorite passage for dealing with complaining is Philippians 2:14-16

14 Do all things without complaining and disputing, 15 that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world,16 holding fast the word of life, so that I may rejoice in the day of Christ that I have not run in vain or labored in vain.

Now let's tear this apart.  First of all, 14 is a command.  "Do ALLLLLLLL things without complaining.   That means ALL.  EVERYTHING.   ALL THINGS.   Okay we got that right?
So to complain about ANYTHING is----not right!   Period.  A Christian should not complain.    (Let me say that the next word "disputing" comes in VERY handy in a family as well.   Along with NEVER complaining...we can add  NEVER arguing about things.  But I'll save that for another post).  

Okay.....so we've established that a Christian should never complain.   (I know this sounds hard, but trust me, with practice it DOES get so much easier and you'll find yourself when you DO complain feeling convicted and doing it less and less)     
The cool thing is the next 2 verses.  God doesn't just tell us "Don't do THAT!"  But then explains WHY!!!

Check this out...we should not complain because-------it helps us to be blameless children of God...in  a messed up culture that is  full of sin and complaining about everything.  "Among whom we shine like lights in the world...holding fast the word of life so that I may rejoice that I have not run in vain." (paraphrased)

This is one defining feature of us in our world.  People will notice that we are different by our attitude.  Are we known for our thanksgiving or our whining and complaining???   The world will take note----trust me!!!!

Some ways we can complain:

• Ugh, it's Monday
• I just need some ME time
• The kids are driving me crazy
• The kids are too noisy
• The kids are too messy
• The kids complain too much
• The kids_____________
• The husband  never  __________
• This food is cold
• This food it hot
• This food is ___________
• I hate cooking
• I can't stand _________
• The lines at Wal Mart are so long
• This is supposed to be FAST food
• I get so ticked when _________

You know, I can seriously make this list a mile long, but you get the point.   Let me just say that you can share these verses with your kids...but it will do ABSOLUTELY NO GOOD if they don't see Mom and Dad modeling this all during the day.   Complainers raise complainers...so if there is a problem...ask God to start with you!!!!!   

When they see Mom and Dad leading more thankful, less grumbling lives, it will help them to learn to have a life of gratefulness as well.  Just like we have rules not to hit siblings, yell at family members, roll their eyes etc...this is a very good rule to add as a family.  "No complaining!"   

You'll be glad you tackled this.  It is not a childhood problem as my Facebook news feed can attest to.   Instead of raising ungrateful, sour adults they will grow up and do what Philippians 2 says "Shine like lights in the world holding fast the word of life."   

Treating Sore Throats at Home (Pharyngitis)

Because in my previous life, I worked as a PA (Physician Assistant) for many years, I am always interested in learning more about the human body.    I think I have a nice position....being married to a doctor and myself trained in American medicine, yet able to acknowledge that sometimes American medicine makes things worse or has financial bias.

   I've spent years researching different things like vaccinations, herbal medicines, homeopathy, natural treatments, pathology (what is the cause of disease), diets, healthy eating and living etc.   I am by no means an expert on any of them, but I am able to think rationally about each side with an open mind.  There is definite value in understanding each side....the benefits vs risks...and when to apply conventional medicine and when to apply "natural" medicine.

I get frustrated often with Facebook posts by (usually) women who have soapboxes and little to no knowledge of the human body.  They basically think anything from the medical field is evil and bad for them, while anything "natural" is totally safe and healthy.   I have seen people recommend herbs or oils that have clearly been shown to be dangerous in pregnancy, nursing and early childhood to those people.   I have seen people try to talk others out of seeking medical care for something that genuinely can be dangerous if not treated.       I'm not advocating either side...there is benefits in both in my opinion, and a severe lack of wisdom to bash either side as well.    I implore,  you young mothers especially, to use wisdom in your research and in your "advice" to other gullible friends.   Despite what you think, there is a lot you don't know or understand. Please approach your research humbly and open to both sides.     

With that aside, I wanted to address some topics in my blog that I get asked questions of often.  
I will start with sore throats.  The medical word for sore throat is "Pharyngitis."  "Itis" means inflammation and "Pharyng" refers to the pharynx  or the medical word for throat.   So basically....any inflammation of the throat.    A sore throat can be caused my many things.   Viruses, bacteria, and post nasal drip are the most common.      Other more uncommon causes are reflux from the stomach, trauma or tumors.

Over 80% of all sore throats are caused by viruses.  They do not require any medical care and can be safely treated at home.  Antibiotics to not help at all and in some cases make it worse.  (like Mono).

Post nasal drip from allergies are another major cause of sore throats.  The drainage from the sinuses irritates the back of the throat making it sore or inflamed.    That is best treated with an allergy medicine like Zyrtec or Claritin.   Often regularly consuming raw honey helps as well.   Since our allergies are often from air born pollens and such, local honey (where the bees have taken local pollen to make honey) actually works by desensitizing us to the local allergens with time.  You can tell it's from post nasal drip if you see 2 faint pink or red lines straight down the back of your throat.  (From all the drainage)  (Sometimes you won't have this but if you do see it, it's a good clue).

Strep throat is the worst cause of pharyngitis because it actually NEEDS antibiotics.  While strep is not very common in adults (though it happens) it is much more common in childhood.   (as a side note, it is also not super common in infancy, though should not be completely ruled out either).  Roughly 30-40% of sore throats in children is caused by strep.  (keeping in mind that 60-70% is NOT strep).     The problem with strep is that if untreated, there is the possibility of it going into the kidneys to cause severe damage  (glomerulonephritis), or into the heart and causing rheumatic heart disease usually requiring a new heart valve.  (Chris and I have both seen patients with this....it happens more than you think!)         Typically a course of antibiotics will take care of the strep and prevent damage to the heart or kidneys.        We, as a family, are very anti---antibiotics.  We rarely if ever give them to our kids.  Strep is the one thing that we don't mess around with.      Fortunately, with 9 kids in 20 years, we've only ever had one kids with strep once!!!    Please don't take a chance with strep.

Strep can often be diagnosed simply by looking in the throat.  You will typically see white coating or spots on the tonsils, large lymph nodes under the jaw line and almost always a fever.   Typically, strep throat hurts excruciatingly...even to just swallow your own spit.        One virus that mimics strep is mononucleosis.  That is a virus, but it can make white patches on the throat as well.  If you take antibiotics while you have mono, you will often get a pretty bad rash from it, so make sure it's truly strep or ask a doctor.

I want to mention here the scary sounding diagnosis of "Scarlet Fever."  It's honestly just strep throat with a rash.  It's nothing worse than just plain strep...it just sounds scary.  

The rest of the culprits are typically viruses.  There are so many different viruses that cause strep, I can't even name them all.   Viruses typically make "bumps On the back of the throat. Not the tonsils but the VERY back even behind the uvula.     They can give fever but not usually.....and fevers are not usually as high as with strep.

So I'm often asked what to do about sore throats that are caused by viruses.  Here are some things that our family uses.



1.   Our absolute favorite "magic pill" for sore throats is Bee Propolis.  They come in capsules and you can swallow the capsules or for kids open them up and mix the propolis in applesauce or  yogurt.  I've never read what the "perfect dose" of propolis is...but for older kids and adults we have them take 1 capsule per hour until it feels better. For younger kids I give them 3-4 per day.  (I don't give it to kids under 1--just my personal feeling).   Propolis is the anti viral and antibiotic found in honey that keeps honey from never going bad.  (notice how honey stay fine on the counter for ever?  Propolis!!



2. Elderberry Syrup You can buy it pre-made or to save money, do what we do and make it yourself.

- 1 cup fresh or 1/2 cup dried organic Elderberries
- 3 cups water

- 1 cup raw local honey

- 1 organic Cinnamon stick, 3 organic Cloves, and organic Ginger (optional)

Place berries, water, and spices in a saucepan. Bring to a boil, reduce heat, and simmer for 30 minutes. Smash the berries to release remaining juice and strain the mixture. Allow liquid to cool and stir in honey. Will last for 2-3 months stored in the fridge.




We buy dried elderberries from The Bulk Herb Store




3. High doses of Vitamin C (for us that is about 1,000 per day for smaller kids and 2,000 mg per day for bigger) I've heard of people giving a lot more than that...we just haven't needed to.




4. Vitamin D We typically give more Vitamin D during illness




Hope this helps. This is not exhaustive, but it is how our family handles sore throats.

So You've Made a "Decision" to Follow Jesus? So What!

As a follow-up to my previous post, I wanted to share another idea that Francis Chan shared in his sermon Why Are We Here?    It is the concept that we hear frequently in Evangelical circles:  "I've made a decision for Christ."     

 Chan goes on to explain that last year he "made a decision" to run every single day of the year.  Even if it was only 1/2 of a mile, he made the decision to do it.   So, on January 1st, he got together with a bunch of friends, and, even though it almost killed him, he ran 4 miles.   Fast forward a few months....at that point, he had run a total since January 2nd of about 4 miles all together.     He "made a decision," but did it actually change his life?   Many people "decide" to follow Christ.....and other than calling themselves a "Christian" after that day, nothing much has changed in their life.

I think this goes along with the heresy of "the sinner's prayer."  The false teaching that if there is an altar call or "invitation" at church and you repeat a prayer after someone "asking Jesus into your heart" that you are deemed a "Christian" and are on your way to heaven.   It doesn't matter that you never had an encounter with God, you never repented from your sins, and you never gave up your life to be under Christ's control.   

Folks, an encounter with God is like being hit by a Mac-Truck.  You can't have an encounter with the Creator of the Universe, the King of Kings and the Lord of lords and remain unchanged!

If you have "made a decision" or prayed a "sinner's prayer"  please see if your life has fruit of the evidence that it was a true conversion to Christianity.    

21 “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. 22 Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’ 23 And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’ --Matthew 7:21-23


13 “Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. 14 Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it. --Matthew 7:13-14