(Picture of Aslan with Gilead, who is wearing an outfit that Aslan wore 13 yrs ago
and who looks almost identical to how Aslan looked back then.)
This week, I am celebrating 14 years of God's amazing work in my life. It was 14 years ago this past Monday that I entered the world of motherhood. It has changed who I am more than any thing else in my life, other than the day I told God he could have me and my life and that I wanted Him to be my Savior.
You see, on Febrary 7th 1996, it was a day like many other days. I got up early, went to Bayfront Medical Center to do hospital rounds, rubbing shoulders with well-known surgeons and doctors and working right along with them. I'd run down to medical records to dictate some discharge summaries and then stroll across the street to Dr Lefebvre's office where I worked as a Physician Assistant. (PA-C)
I would have a full morning of seeing patients: writing prescriptions, doing female exams, seeing someone for chest pain or belly pain, a kid with a fever or rash, take off a toenail that was ingrown, talk to a patient about her depression and need for God in her life, joke with my nurses, run something by Gigi, the doctor I worked with and then it was lunchtime. Often, I would run over to the hospital to eat in the doctor's lounge -- always great free food-- with the other doctors and PA's. Then an afternoon similar to the morning.
I remember working til 5:30pm that day.....knowing that I was scheduled for a different day on February 8th at 6am. I was scheduled for an induction to have our first baby--a son.
I was really too busy to think much about it. I had delivered babies in PA school all on my own, taken care of prenatal visits on patients...I was pretty sure I knew what I was getting into. The thing that I had totally not prepared for was the emotional and spiritual changes that happen to a woman when that baby that pops out happens to be her own child.
I left the medical office knowing that Chris had wanted me to stay home with Aslan, and that it would likely be my last day as working as a PA full-time. That did bother me because I absolutely loved my job. Not to mention the huge paychecks that I was receiving, and I was only in my early 20's. My heart knew he was right, but my self esteem, my mind had such a hard time. Being a PA was who I was.....I was important....significant....got to write prescriptions and tell people what do to and they would (usually) do it.
"Important" doctors knew me. Nurses did what I asked them to do.
And then I woke up on February 8th, 1996. I was at the hospital to be induced at 6am. Got the epidural at 9am. I remember dozens and dozens of visitors the whole labor since I worked at that hospital and Chris was a resident at the same hospital.
Before I knew it, my doctor, Dr Raimer, said that I was ready to push and had to ask all the people to leave. We had praise music playing and she was singing right along with the music, because she was a neat Christian doctor with 6 kids of her own (now 8).
Aslan was quickly born and she announced, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY ASLAN!"
And my life would never again be the same!!
Chris had a month where he was able to study from home, which was so good because he changed every meconium diaper, knew how to tightly wrap Aslan so he would be calmer (I couldn't figure that out!), bounced him the right way and was such a calm daddy. I on the other hand was a mess....teary, and engorged, and got mastitis at 10 days postpartum followed by thrush. I remember the first night at the hospital that he woke up screaming, I thought, "It's MY JOB TO SHUT THIS THING UP!!!!" Sheer panic. Fortunately he loved to nurse.
Overnight, I had gone from a really "important" PA with a great salary with patients that appreciated what I did, a doctor that thanked me every day, to a screaming baby, who never thanked me but screamed, spit and pooped on me as my "salary."
After about 2 weeks Aslan started screaming and screaming and screaming and screaming. He didn't stop for almost 9 months. I remember vividly the Monday morning when he was almost 4 weeks old that Chris had to go back to the hospital to start up on rough hours with call every 3rd night again. I remember feeling like I wanted to grab both ankles and beg him not to leave me alone with this screaming fat thing. I honestly couldn't imagine taking care of him all day every day BY MYSELF!!!
We survived.....which still surprises me....not him but me. I hated sleeping cause when I was sleeping I couldn't make sure that Aslan was still breathing. I had lost my only brother to SIDS when he was 7 weeks old and remembered it as a 4 yr old, and it was just a sense of fear that Aslan would stop breathing too just like Chad. Needless to say, that first year with Aslan couldn't have felt much rougher. Poor thing probably just felt my stress.
At some point those first few months, I distinctly remember Chris saying to me, no doubt one evening time when he wouldn't stop screaming for hours, that "We just aren't cut out to be the parents of a lot of kids." As much as I didn't want to admit that, I absolutely knew that he was right. This one kid was almost too much for both of us.
He started walking at 9 months and did get a little cheerier after that. It was probably the longest 9months of my life. As if that wasn't character building enough, and to show that God truly has a great sense of humor, a few weeks before Aslan's 1st birthday, I found out that I was pregnant again!!!!
I still didn't feel like I could handle Aslan very well.....we were just beginning the training and discipline age and he really felt like he wanted to be in control....enter pregnancy #2.
ALL I knew was that if this baby wasn't sweet, peaceful and calm, I wasn't sure I could survive.
With that in mind, we found out that we were expecting another boy...and to show God how serious we were, we found a boy's name that means "peaceful and restful." Since Aslan's name is the Turkish word for lion, and he was totally living up to that meaning, we figured we could accomplish the same thing in reverse. So we decided at only 16 weeks that our 2nd son would be Noah Andrew "Peaceful and restful."
Fast forward a few months...we moved to a new city where Chris got his first real job after residency (at a rural health clinic taking care of Spanish farm workers)...Noah was born and was always happy and peaceful. ...that is except when his brother bit him....WHEW...
I could go on and on, but let's just say that by 2, Aslan was a well-trained toddler who obeyed fairly well. Noah stayed sweet and silly and joyful.....and the rest is history...we have 2 more brothers and 3 more sisters for that pair!
I can't even begin to put into words how God has transformed my character through these children. He has taken a very selfish only child, used to getting my way, and transformed me into someone who loves to serve and love others. It is just totally God! Nobody can transform themselves the way I've been transformed. God's fingerprints are all over me!!
So this week, as I celebrate Aslan's 14th birthday and my 14th anniversary of Motherhood, I just want to thank God and give Him all the credit and glory, because had it been up to me, I would probably have only 1 or 2 children.....put them in daycare.....and missed out on all the blessings that God had planned for me....blessings that have been acquired through LOTS of blood sweat and tears....and lots more tears....but I can look back now and see that my Father gives GOOD Gifts. I see how much He loves me...I see that even though sometimes life seems so incredibly hard.....like I don't think I can survive another day---God is right there in the midst...He is right there with me as I change diapers, train toddlers, teach yet another kid to read, deal with arguing, complaining, and issues related to growing up. It's not me and Chris alone, it is so totally about God working in our lives to accomplish His plan for our lives, our characters.
And it's about raising other souls that will no-doubt be world changers....not because they had the greatest mom in the history of the world, but because they have the greatest God in the world who chooses to work though selfish, only -children, to accomplish great things for Him!!!
