How do you Deal with Complaining at your House?

I was asked this week by a friend how we deal with complaining at our house.   I thought I'd share it here because this seems to be a universal issue that we deal with.   By "we" I don't just mean the children---we all, by nature, are prone to complain.  

By blogging about this topic, I'm not saying that you will never hear a complaint coming from one of our mouths or that we've mastered it....but we have studied and hit this topic pretty hard as a family from a Biblical perspective and that has really helped. 

While there are a number of Bible passages that fit, my favorite passage for dealing with complaining is Philippians 2:14-16

14 Do all things without complaining and disputing, 15 that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world,16 holding fast the word of life, so that I may rejoice in the day of Christ that I have not run in vain or labored in vain.

Now let's tear this apart.  First of all, 14 is a command.  "Do ALLLLLLLL things without complaining.   That means ALL.  EVERYTHING.   ALL THINGS.   Okay we got that right?
So to complain about ANYTHING is----not right!   Period.  A Christian should not complain.    (Let me say that the next word "disputing" comes in VERY handy in a family as well.   Along with NEVER complaining...we can add  NEVER arguing about things.  But I'll save that for another post).  

Okay.....so we've established that a Christian should never complain.   (I know this sounds hard, but trust me, with practice it DOES get so much easier and you'll find yourself when you DO complain feeling convicted and doing it less and less)     
The cool thing is the next 2 verses.  God doesn't just tell us "Don't do THAT!"  But then explains WHY!!!

Check this out...we should not complain because-------it helps us to be blameless children of God...in  a messed up culture that is  full of sin and complaining about everything.  "Among whom we shine like lights in the world...holding fast the word of life so that I may rejoice that I have not run in vain." (paraphrased)

This is one defining feature of us in our world.  People will notice that we are different by our attitude.  Are we known for our thanksgiving or our whining and complaining???   The world will take note----trust me!!!!

Some ways we can complain:

• Ugh, it's Monday
• I just need some ME time
• The kids are driving me crazy
• The kids are too noisy
• The kids are too messy
• The kids complain too much
• The kids_____________
• The husband  never  __________
• This food is cold
• This food it hot
• This food is ___________
• I hate cooking
• I can't stand _________
• The lines at Wal Mart are so long
• This is supposed to be FAST food
• I get so ticked when _________

You know, I can seriously make this list a mile long, but you get the point.   Let me just say that you can share these verses with your kids...but it will do ABSOLUTELY NO GOOD if they don't see Mom and Dad modeling this all during the day.   Complainers raise complainers...so if there is a problem...ask God to start with you!!!!!   

When they see Mom and Dad leading more thankful, less grumbling lives, it will help them to learn to have a life of gratefulness as well.  Just like we have rules not to hit siblings, yell at family members, roll their eyes etc...this is a very good rule to add as a family.  "No complaining!"   

You'll be glad you tackled this.  It is not a childhood problem as my Facebook news feed can attest to.   Instead of raising ungrateful, sour adults they will grow up and do what Philippians 2 says "Shine like lights in the world holding fast the word of life."